Divorced Parents use technology to avoid each other | Relate ...

Divorced parents are turning to technology in a bit to ruin their ex-partners relationship with their children, it was claimed today. Researchers found that parents were increasingly using emails, text messaging and social networks to communicate, rather than talk face to face. However, they also found many were misusing the technology, claiming to have missed or not received messages

Researchers found separated and divorced couples are increasingly using emails, texting and social media to communicate with their ex-partners about their children.

• Parents found to pretend? that they did not receive emails
• Researchers call for?counselling to address the problem

The University of Missouri researchers called for divorce counsellors to teach ex-spouses to use technology responsibly.
?Technology makes it easier for divorced couples to get along, and it also makes it easier for them not to get along,? said Lawrence Ganong, a professor of human development and family studies at MU. ?Parents who use technology effectively can make co-parenting easier, which places less stress on the children. ?Parents who use communication technology to manipulate or withhold information from the other parent can cause pain to the child.?

Researchers found separated and divorced couples are increasingly using emails, texting and social media to communicate with their ex-partners about their children.Professor Ganong found that ex-partners who were cooperative with one another used emails and texting to schedule visits and other activities. Couples who did not get along used communication technology to avoid confrontations and control their former partners? access to their children.

Ganong and his colleagues interviewed 49 divorced parents individually about the quality of their relationships with their ex-partners. Parents who had cooperative relationships saw technology such as email and texting as an effective tool to coordinate exchanges of their children, and some even used online calendars to share information about their children?s activities.

However, separated parents who had hostile relationships used the same technology to manipulate their ex-spouses and limit communication.

However, the team concluded than email was a useful tool.

?Email is a great resource for hostile parents who can?t talk face-to-face,? said Professor Ganong. ?They can communicate essential information while editing what they say to avoid conflict. ?Also, the parents have a record of what was agreed upon.

Relate meets many diovorced parents through it?s counselling and mediation services. We agree that whilst electronic communication can help to difuse anger which can erupt face to face parents still need to communicate directly and honstly to ensure the best outcomes for their children. Mediation can help to establish clear arrangements for child contact and better relationships between parents. More details about the survey can be found here and more about mediation here.

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Source: http://www.relatelondonnw.org.uk/2012/divorced-parents-use-technology-to-avoid-each-other/

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